30-Day Writing Challenge: Day 25 – Relationships

Write about an area of your life you’d like to improve.

 

That’s an easy answer, but not so simple to put into action. I desperately need to improve my interpersonal connections. I need to surround myself with people who care about me, want me in their company, and respect my boundaries. I need people who make me feel safe and loved to be around. I need people I can trust with my heart.

As it stands right now, I can’t trust anyone fully for various reasons. My connections with others around me are being severed and damaged beyond full recovery. I’m caught between the urge to wipe my slate clean so to speak and start anew versus wanting to take and hold onto to what I have left in a desperate, persistent longing for some facet of normality in my life. My family ties are almost unrepairable, and those are the ones I find myself wanting to hang onto through my longing for some sense of anything normal. There are toxic aspects to almost if not every relationship I’m in whether it’s the fault of the individual or the circumstance.

It’s almost as if I have to list my criteria up front to weed out the people I can’t trust or bother with for fear of wasting time and energy. So I’ll make an effort to do it and list:

  • I want people who love and accept me for who I am and are willing to grow and change as I do.
  • I want people who share at least some of the same interests as I do or are at least willing to listen if I chose to go on about my passions.
  • People who have beliefs stemming from acceptance and openness to learning, growing, changing, being proved wrong, etc.
  • People who respect my boundaries whether they be physical or mental.
  • People who are patient and willing to wait for what I have to offer them, patient enough to deal with me, my shortcomings, and my anxiety.
  • People who make me feel safe, loved, wanted, and energized.
  • Given the polarizing election – similar political standpoints.
  • People who are willing to listen and not treat me as a child or nuisance.

 

It’s a short list, I could add more, but I’m afraid to ramble any more than I have. If you’re unsure, just ask! I’m ready and willing to answer questions. I’d love to surround myself with relationships that are good for me all around, whether they’re in person or over the internet.

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